We arrived in Tulsa this morning at 8:30. I Can not remember ever feeling the way I feel now. Absolutely dependent on God. I have no clue what tomorrow will look like for us. But I am certain that having such amazing friends (now, more like family) pioneering together with us is going to make it easier to be away from our families and friends in Pennsylvania. I am so thankful for the faith in Jesus that bonds us together, so though I am 1200 miles away from loved ones, I am close to them in Christ.

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I'm a very different person today than I was 4 short years ago thanks to Gods amazing grace. Today I visited a very beautiful place. Pictures just don't do it justice because this place has an aw about it. At one time a came to this spot to get high and do other self destructive stuff. Today I was out for a drive to spend time with God at my wifes request because lately I have just been hurting for some various different reasons. Thank God for a wife who knows that Time with God is so important. As I stopped at this beautiful place, I had to just let God know how glad I am that he saved me and I am living my life for Him now. I am so greatful that I can come to this place simply to meet with Jesus and leave with more gratification than anything I could do on my own.


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Gerry Stoltzfoos

I remember when I was about 10 years old and I job shadowed Gerry for a day. It wasn't until after Shawna and I were engaged when I remembered Gerry telling me "someday I hope you marry one of my daughters" that same day when I was 10.

Gerry has been an amazing figure in my life. He has mentored me and spoken into my life many times since I was a child. I remember when I gave my life to the Lord 4 years ago, Gerry was one of the first people I went to get direction. I remember when I told him that the Lord got a hold of me, he put his arms around me and he cried tears of joy and I couldn't help but cry too. I knew that this man cared so much for me and he was serious when he said that he has been praying for me for years.

Its been a crazy adventure between then and now. But as of recent, Gerry and I went on a trip to Three Springs and then to the far west of PA. First to raise a church to life again and later to motivate people to plant churches. I don't know quite what it was about the trip but I do know that the enemy was putting last minute doubts in my mind about going (I could have stayed and gotten more work done and a thousand other things) but when doubt comes in you know you are on the right track. That trip and being with Gerry encouraged me and gave me more vision for spreading the gospel and encouraging people to do the same than almost any time before. I am so proud and glad to have Gerry as a father-in-law. Happy Birthday Gerry!!

Draw me closer to You, Lord.

John 15:5 (NIV)

⁵"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

How can we accomplish anything on our own? I believe the greatest mistake I make is when I start to function without the life support of the vine. Just like the vine is the life giver to the branches and is responsible for the fruit, so is God in our lives. How much more fruitful we would be if we would stay connected to the vine.

"All you need is love"? The Beatles were wrong!

Love and Respect go hand in hand in a healthy marriage relationship. Men need to love their wives and women need to respect their husbands. This is such a heavy topic and for anyone who is interested in understanding, I am planning to read this book

Love & Respect by: Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs and would invite anyone to join the reading with me. I heard recently that 51% of Christian marriages fail. I believe a huge part of it is due to the confusion and misunderstanding of communication between opposite sex. Luckily God had a reason and beautiful plan when he decided to not just make the male sex but male and female, we are "not wrong, just different". and we are different for a purpose. It is a pretty thing!

I am so impressed with our team of young leaders at the Freedom House. These guys are willing to sacrifice and go face-to-face with the hard challenges that most people would rather ignore. I have been so encouraged in our talks, even this morning. We sat down at Panera and while we were discussing ways to better portray Christ to the men in the home, the Holy Spirit showed up and encouraged us so much. We are not going to tolerate spiritual laziness and soft conviction. I am tired of hearing and seeing people cut corners on sin. We need to hunt sin down in our lives and destroy it with whatever it takes. I am so thankful for these men in my life, they challenge me on a daily basis.

I cracked Barry's back!

"..whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." We all know and have heard this scripture spoken by Jesus, written in the book of Mathew 25:40. I wonder sometimes if and when we serve the poor, we do it to make ourselves feel good, as if we are doing what Jesus wanted or if we are doing it because we love them. Because I am more afraid of what he says next "..whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." Could it be that if we do not love the least we are not loving God?

I met Barry today, a homeless guy with a bad case of turret's. He was looking for a place to stay for the night, he asked if we could pay for a hotel. Instead of praying a pray for him and sending him on our way, since it is not procedure to give out money without attending a service, we offered a place for him to stay. After spending about an hour with him, listening, encouraging and cracking his back, I felt the Holy Spirit making a change in me. Jesus said that we will always have the poor, and many times through out scripture tells us to care for them, give to them, invite them into your home and share meals.

I guess, what I am getting at, is that an amazing thing happens inside or our hearts when we don't just read this stuff, but we take it seriously. I want to do this more often!

The difference is easy to see, hear and feel when you encounter truth from God. Our selfishness trys to blur truth and most the time suceeds at it. We need to seek out His truth with our whole hearts and not just skip over the stuff that is painful, if we want to experience a life more fulfilling.

The coolest thing about God is that He love us all the time. I realize that I spend a lot of time trying to realign myself with His way. Today I realize that He is not tired of me, He is eager for me to come to Him again.

I had the most amazing time on the metro the other night. I was on my way home from NCC worship practice and I was listening to Johannes Armritzer's Love Miracles sermon. I am about to get on a plane for Sweden and have a lot to do, so I will be short for now. Faith and Hope are good but LOVE is the greatest. I realized that I can be a good Christian and even encounter the Holy Spirit and move in my gifts without ever having love in my heart. It is possible to be a senior pastor or a worship leader to an enormous church and still have no love in your heart. Being a person that Loves is not always easy. Especially when you are first starting out, you will have to counteract what your flesh tells you to do. You truly have to follow Jesus. I want to look around at the people on the metro with Love in my heart for them. I want the LOVE in my heart to never leave me, I want it to be the fuel for my life. I want LOVE to be the motivation that drives me to do ministry.  want the LOVE of Christ to be my desire, not just a 'now and then' experience. I dont want to just wait until there is an emergency or disaster to have compassion. I want the compassion and love of Christ all the time. We have to ask for this love. Ask God to fill you with His love and compassion for all people regardless of their make up. To see through his eyes and feel with His heart.

Listening to the voice of God, although as hard as it may be at times, has to be the most rewarding part of following Jesus Christ.  That said.

Ordering Your Private Word ( a book by Gordon MacDonald) is truly (2 weeks after its completion) recking my world, for the better. I realized recently that I have let "my" ministry run my life. I prioritize my work before my spiritual life. That's wrong! The first problem is that it makes me view that work I am doing as more of a pain instead of the pleasure that it should be. Doing the work that God has called us to should be a pleasure. The second problem is that I have neglected my personal time with God, my endless hours out in the woods, hiking with God. I know that this it is a huge temptation to think 'because we are doing ministry work that we can just burn the candle at both ends and God will somehow restore and refresh us. Now, I know that there, as well, may be times that God will refresh and we have to make a deadline. But, I think that God is jealous of us and want our time to first be His and then to the world.  I could go on, but you should just read the book (Ordering Your Private World) if you get the chance.

I was sitting down last night to type and email about all the ways God is instructing change in Shawna and I's lives but I couldn't seem to get it all out. I am still struggling but here is a little something I want to share. I will be meeting with the NCC (national community church in DC) early next week to talk about joining their worship team. I feel God telling me to enjoy some new experiences with worship and to learn from them. So far they are open to the idea in spite of the fact I will be leaving at the end of the year for Tulsa. I even told them I could only commit to one service a  month. I am very excited about the opportunity and looking forward to all the other ways God is going to open me up.  

God wants us to hear Him so badly. He really wants us to take the time and the silence to hear Him. I was in a particular situation today, this person asked me for my help and advice. As they went on and on with their issues they didn't leave almost a second for my input or advice.  I feel like I do that a lot to God. I give Him my problems and my feelings and I just drop this load on his lap, and I'm sure He is happy to take it, but on the other hand I know that He wants so much more. I also just read through the chapter in Ordering Your Private World called No Outer Props Necessary. Gordan writes about the need for not merely spiritual routines or exercises but the need to cherish private and silent moments with God. There is a huge difference from doing devotions every morning to spending quality time with God. I was really challenge by his words on the subject.

I ran into a friend today at the coffee shop who saw the movie "God, Save us from Your followers" last night. I was unable to make the movie. But our conversation really struck a chord in me. I think that I (and maybe you) spend more time trying to convince people (and myself) that I am a good and practicing "Christian" than just simply loving people and being (without words) Christ to people. What I mean is that when we see people commiting sin, we are more apt to point out their sin (even if it is just among us, and not to their face) than we are to show them love and compassion. I think the reason we are able to become like this is due to our own self condemnation and not truly grasping our own forgiveness.  Just some thoughts. I may be way wrong. 

Tulsa, OK

These past few days in Tulsa have been an awesome adventure. The Holy Spirit has done and is still doing so many amazing things.  We recieved incrible clarity for His vision, made great new friends and learned so much about the area. Above all though, God is developing a burden in our hearts for the people of Tulsa.  The city of Tulsa is filled with people who don't know God and people who have given up on the church. We believe that God is sending us to reach people who have given up on His church. I have totally fallen in love with this place and am so excited to make the move. Although I will miss PA very much. God is good

God does not lie! He will not lead you one way and pull you another. You can however trust that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. When you feel that your world is in limbo you have to allow God to work the bigger picture. We sometimes think that we see the whole vision, but our vision is ussually wrapped around oursleves. Gods vision includes the people around us. 

I belong in Your presence. 

Watching all of these young leaders rising up around me is the most beautiful site to see. Today I have been awestruck at how great, faithful and in control God is. The worship band just totally blew me away. Not that they played well, sang like angels or had lots of energy and passion, which they did, but that i watched them sacrificially lay them selves out before God on the altar and offer such a pleasing offering. I felt the Holy Spirits embrace around us. It was glorious. Praise God and also pray for protection. This is the time when Satan will try to destroy the flower that is blooming.

God has been doing some really awesome things lately. I am so excited about what is happening at Freedom House. We kicked off our first city outreach this past Friday in Hanover. It was so awesome to see all of the guys stepping out and praying for people and sharing the gospel. Jake Flickinger prayed with a woman named Carol that he met on the street. Carol was in the middle of jogging when we politely stopped her to tell her about the Freedom House. One thing led to the next and we ended up praying for her leg to be healed because she said that it was acing. She said as she took off running again that the pain was gone. Praise God! 

All of this is so exciting, but I am not very satisfied. I have noticed that I don’t have as much compassion for the lost as I use to. There was a time a couple years ago when I was praying very hard for God to share his heart for the lost with me. God, please give me a heart for the lost, I want to feel how you feel for them. If I could just feel that a little bit, maybe it would not be so hard to reach out to people on the streets. I know that if I could just see them with your eyes and understand your own heart for me a little better then maybe I could share a little genuine love with them. God I pray that you would give me tears for this community. I want to hurt for your people! I want your burdens to be our burdens. 

So up until this past weekend I was very committed to my One Year Bible readings. I didn’t miss a day and it was so enriching to be filled with the word daily (something i struggled to do in the past).  Well, my weekend was really busy and AWESOME. We lead worship for all the services and had really great prayer times before each service. The Holy Spirit showed up, no doubt. But I neglected to read my One Year Bible both Saturday and Sunday. What a big BIG mistake! I totally felt the power drain out of me on Monday and into Tuesday. But, when I got back into the readings and finally caught up, I was reading in Leviticus where God is instructing Moses on the appropriate way to conduct the many different types of offering to the Lord. I couldn’t have been at a more boring part of Leviticus when all of the sudden the Holy Spirit hit me like a ton of bricks and it pushed all the tears out of my face. The word is life! And to not read it daily, even what seems to be boring, is death to the inner-man. Thank You God for your wonderful, life-giving word. 

So a man came into the coffee shop tonight and while he was paying for his coffee he noticed that i was reading Johannes' book How Jesus Healed the Sick.  He told me that he was a chaplain and that he often deals with sick and dying people. He believed that his job was to try and provide people with an enjoyable death instead of offering healing and teaching them how they can be healed. He literally said "I tell them that Gods healing is death sometimes". Now although this does sound crazy to me, i see a lot of myself in that man. I often find myseld taking the easy way out. The truth is that i am missing out! I dont want to miss out any more. I want the Holy Spirit to use me to heal people. God, PLEASE use your healing power through me. I want to lay my hands on the sick and see them healed. I know I you can do it through me. Send someone to me who wants their healing.

Warship! 

God is doing something, He is stirring something in the hearts of worshipers. Its time to put all of our fears and personal agendas aside and seek His face. 2 Chronicles 7:14 "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." I dont want to be the same any longer. I dont want to sit around and let the Martin Luthers of this day walk right by me. I want to join a revoltution. I want to be apart of His army. I want passion! I want to His presence on a whole new level.

I don’t feel like I have given Jesus all the glory and honor He deserves. In the past year Jesus Christ has showed me so much love and blessing. There were so many times that He provided when I couldn’t. I want to trust God all the time. There is no peace like the peace you feel when Jesus has provided and made a way when there was no other way. There are times when I still try to make things happen for myself, I pray God that you would help me to put all my trust in You. Thank You for all of the gifts and blessings.

 

My wonderful wife, Shawna, Is teaching me all about tithing. Together we have not only been tithing regularly but we have paid for previous months when we didn’t tithe. It feels so good to give and be faithful in all areas of our lives.